Artifacts of Note III and a brief report from the front lines.

Today a cornucopia of artifacts were discovered while cleaning up the Master Bedroom and the Kitchen.

Artifacts of Note #07232010-001 & #07232010-002

[LEFT] - March 9th 1992 - Price: $3.95
(18 Years, 4 Months, 14 Days, 1 Hour, 11 Minutes, and 21 Seconds old)
[RIGHT] - February 14th 1994 - Price: $4.95
(16 Years, 5 Months, 9 Days, 1 Hour, 11 Minutes, and 21 Seconds old)

Here's a historical perspective on how old these magazines are:

Any guesses on who the ice skater that's about to get her knee professionally massaged by a baton at the U.S. figure skating championships in Detroit?

I'll give you a hint..
It starts with Nan- and ends with -cy Kerrigan.

If you still have no clue what I'm talking about, it's probably just further proof of the age of these magazines.

You might also want to glance back up there and take note on how un-shopped and incredibly fat those women are on the cover.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Harding#The_Kerrigan_attack



Artifact of Note #07232010-003

Awww.. Omega-3 Gummy fishies!! According to the bottle it's a BRAIN BOOSTER with no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives. I'm thinking it could probably use a little extra flavor because they taste like ass. Oh, and they expire May 2011 if you're wondering.

Artifacts of Note #07232010-004 & #07232010-005

I found these in a CD case stashed in one of the kitchen drawers. Finding money is always awesome, and finding old-school $10 dollar bills from 1995 is even more so. The two tickets to the right are for the Renaissance Pleasure Faire that took place August 25th - October 14th 2001 @ the Nut Tree in Vacaville, California. Now as soon as I figure out where the hell I parked my damn time machine me and one lucky person can travel to 2001 with our period accurate $10 dollars and get pleasured!

Here's a closer look:


This last piece was uncovered in the same drawer as the money and tickets, but I am still unsure as to what it was used for.

Artifact of Note #07232010-006

According to the text at the top of the device this might have been some kind of crude shocking device. The size of the Velcro straps do indicate that it was probably meant to be worn around the neck of a small dog or other household pet.

It's amazing how in just under 10 years we've been able to abolish such barbaric concepts as torture, preemptive war and Britney Spears.
___

On top of all the found treasures today was another successful mark on the map towards the renovation phase.

The master bedroom has been cleared of all debris.

BEFORE:


AFTER:

The Great Distraction of 2010 ...with a little help from my friends.

Some friends came over to aid in our epic quest. We set forth cleaning and re-arranging the Garage in preparation of using the space as storage for everything that's been left in the house. Halfway through the process we... WHAT!? 15 year old Astronaut Ice-cream!! p_O


...may have gotten a little distracted.


We have to EAT this!!!


Some people just don't know how to have fun.


Fear? Trepidation? These monkeys prod the ancient artifact attempting to devise the best method to obtain the treasures within!


Ah! A solution has been found!


15 year old Neapolitan Astronaut Ice Cream! We are seconds away from nostalgic bliss!


We were supposed to be posing with our bounty, but Chris decided he couldn't wait.


It's hard to tell, but this is a chunk of the chocolate flavor.


Down the hatch!


My brain: "I'm not sure what I'm tasting right now, but it's definitely not good. p_O
Chris' brain: "blrraaagggggghhhhhghghghhhhhhhhh"


Naturally. This had to happen.


Success!


Hrm... I wonder how the Strawberry will taste..


Wonderful Bliss!! (Translation: "It tastes like balls.")


Trying it in it's truest form..


Oh! Let me sing about how the different combination of flavors dance on my tongue! Joy of Joys! Oh, Holy of Holys#!&^!! *blrraaagggggghhhhhghghghhhhhhhhh*


And near the end of what will forever be known as, "The Great Distraction of 2010". One of the Knights of Parkwood heard the exaltations of bliss and merriment emitting from the Estate and dropped his heroic duties to partake in history.






Despite a slight unsettling of our stomachs immediately afterward, I am happy to report that no horrific side effects occurred from this day.

And after all the fun that was had, our goal for the day was reached!

BEFORE:


AFTER:



To top off this wonderful day Sir David Andrew of Sandwichberg discovered...


Artifact of Note #07212010-001

The fortune reads, "You are one of the people who 'goes places in life.'"

I honestly feel this find was quite beautiful because it really speaks to everyone involved. My brother and his family because they literally moved away, and those of us moving into the Estate and the opportunities that come with it.

May more momentous days such as this day continue to bless us with their presence.